COMMENTARY: Challenges
for 2006
This issue contains a special report on meeting challenges so the
new year will be better than 2005. I wrote it with some hesitancy;
after all, if I knew the answers to the industry's problems I'd be a
multi-millionaire and would be laying on a beach in Tahiti rather
than writing this newsletter. So I sent a rough draft to a number of
industry veterans who have seen and heard it all and asked their
opinions.
I was bombarded with responses so many interesting comments
that this issue can't hold them all. There will be much more in the
1/16/06 issue. But I don't feel the discussion has ended. After all,
if the industry's challenges were simple, we all would have solved
them by now. If you'd like to comment on anything here, let me know
and don't hesitate to disagree. Email your thoughts, approvals,
and disagreements to mike@clnonline.com.
NEW COLUMNS THIS ISSUE
Business-Wise. Comments from industry pros in reaction to
the "Challenges for 2006" article below. Their comments on
product categories scrapbooking, beads, yarn, needlework,
decorative painting, and home dec range from smart to cynical and
angry to hopeful.
"Benny Da Buyer". Bob Ferguson, one of the
industry's best retailers, responds to the "Challenges for 2006
article" easily one of the most thought-provoking,
interesting columns CLN has ever published.
Category
Reports. Is "the recent knitting craze dying
down," as Crain's Chicago Business reported? The
research data suggests otherwise.
New Trade Show Exhibitors. The names, brief descriptions,
and links to the websites of the new TNNA and CHA
exhibitors.
Memory, Paper &
Stamps. The schedule for digital
imaging seminars at the CHA show.
Designing
Perspectives. The CHA show schedule of
events specifically for designers.
Note: If a column appears to be an old column, click the
"Refresh" or "Reload" button on your browser.
TAKE THE CLN POLL: 2005
WAS UP/DOWN. WHY?
2005 is over and it was ... what it was. Now the question for
vendors and retailers alike is, "Why?" Increasing/lagging
customer interest? Your costs and/or margins were up/down? New
products were successful or flopped? To vote, click on Industry
Polls in the right-hand column or click HERE.
CLN
POLL: THE CHRISTMAS
SEASON FINAL RESULTS
The final tally in CLN's poll is worse than the
preliminary results reported in the previous issue; 7.7% said sales
were up substantially compared to this time last year, but 38.5%
said sales were down substantially; 30.1% reported slight increases
and 7.7% reported slight decreases; only 15.4% said sales were about
the same.
What vendors have heard from their retailer customers mirrors the
retailers' report; 5.9% heard retail sales were up substantially,
but 29.4% were told retail sales were down substantially. A slight
increase was reported by 11.8% and a slight decrease by 41.2%. Only
11.8% said their retailers' sales were about the same.
THE HOLIDAY SELLING SEASON:
MEDIOCRE, MAYBE
Although December sales figures won't be released until later
this week, it appears that the holiday season was ok; there are
estimates of sales being 3-6% higher than last year. The final
increase probably won't match last year's, a disappointment
considering there were more Thanksgiving-to-Christmas shopping days
this year, and the convergence of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza.
One possible cause is the increase in E-commerce sales. Online
holiday shoppers spent a total of $30.1 billion during the holiday
season, up 30% from 2004, according to the eSpending Report from
Goldman Sachs, Nielsen//NetRatings, and Harris Interactive.
Still, the jury is still out. Sales of gift cards are 15-20%
higher than last year, Piper Jaffray analyst Jeff Kleinfelter told
CNNMoney.com. Gift card revenue is not counted until the cards are
redeemed; that could be after Christmas or next year.
Regardless of sales increases, profits may be another story. The
stores that appeared to have matched or exceeded sales expectations
were those who slashed prices the most.
2005, 4TH QUARTER FINAL
STOCK RESULTS
A year ago, did you plan to send your kids to Harvard with the
profits from your CLN Retail Index stocks? Better start
thinking about the local community college instead.
2005. Michaels, +17.4% ... Wal-Mart, -11.2% ... A.C.
Moore, -49.3% ... Jo-Ann's, -57.1% ... Hancock, -60.6%. The CLN
Retail Index dropped 24.6%, the worst performance in the 9+ year
history of CLN. The Dow lost 0.6%. Others: ShopKo, +55.4% ...
Duckwall-ALCO, +25.9% ... Target, +6.0% ... Meredith, -3.5% ...
Martha Stewart, -40.0% ... Primedia, -56.9%.
Fourth Quarter. Wal-Mart, +7.2% ... Michaels, +7.0% ...
A.C. Moore, -24.1% ... Jo-Ann's, -31.7% ... Hancock, -38.7%. The CLN
Retail Index dropped 6.0% and the Dow rose 1.4%. Others: ShopKo,
+13.6% ... Target, +6.2% ... Meredith, +4.7% ... Duckwall-ALCO,
-2.8% ... Martha Stewart, -30.2% ... Primedia, -60.1%.
During the fourth quarter very few execs from the companies in
the CLN Retail Index cashed in stock options no one from
A.C. Moore or Michaels. Jo-Ann's Exec VP Dave Bolen, who announced
his resignation during the quarter, cashed in 104,000 shares for
$1.3 million; Chair Alan Rosskamm, who is giving up his position as
CEO/President of Jo-Ann's, cashed in 54,900 shares for $658,790.
Board member Ira Gumberg cashed in 2,875 shares for $34,327.
Hancock director Don Fruge sold 12,200 shares for $50,996.
A variety of Wal-Mart execs cashed in options, including Chair
David Glass (365,970 shares for $19.4 million); Vice Chair Michael
Duke (9,613 shares for $463,346); former Vice Chair/Director Wright
Eduardo Castro (402 shares for $19,183); Douglas McMillon (398
shares for $19,343); and Controller Charles Holley (10,709 shares
for $521,026).
WAL-MART TESTING REVAMPED
CRAFT DEPARTMENT
CLN has learned that Wal-Mart is testing the concept
of condensing the craft/fabric department and moving it from the
back of the store to the middle. If the test is deemed successful,
the change will be manifested in new stores and store re-sets.
"Im not sure about the total footage," one source
told CLN, "but I know they cut scrapbooking in half. I
think from 48 to 24." Wal-Mart officials, many of whom
were away for the holidays, could not confirm the test involved a
much smaller scrapbook department.
(A note of caution, however: Wal-Mart is constantly running tests
of all types in selected stores throughout the country. Rumors of
the company increasing or decreasing the size of the department have
floated periodically throughout the industry for years.)
"The new set is still being assessed," a Wal-Mart
spokesperson told CLN. "It's an ongoing process with
nothing set in stone. We're constantly reorganizing to make our
stores more relevant for our customers."
The fact that the company is testing moving the department away
from the back of the store may indicate that the overall department
may not be performing as well in "destination studies" as
it once did.
Destination studies include asking consumers which department
they plan to visit first or what is the primary reason for visiting
the store. Last year a Wal-Mart official said, "The craft
consumer is one of the most loyal consumers who come into the store.
Therefore, we put crafts in the back like milk in a
supermarket."
In other words, Wal-Mart may sell more soda than crafts, but if
the stores did not have a craft department, they probably wouldn't
sell as much soda.
The new, revamped department has been tested, apparently with
good results. This fall CLN visited a new Wal-Mart superstore
in Rogers, AR, a few miles from Wal-Mart headquarters, and later
learned that there was a similar store in Naperville, IL. CLN also
learned that the Naperville store's department was as much as 120'
smaller, but sales had not suffered proportionally. The space
reportedly was given to the consumer electronics department.
"I do believe that if Wal-Mart or one of the other Big Boxes
would ever go away," a vendor told CLN, "it would
be a difficult 12 to 18 months for a lot of suppliers but, in the
end, those Wal-Mart consumers would have to shop somewhere and they
would have to go to Michaels, Jo-Ann's, et al, and our
independents."
Another vendor disagreed. "If one big chain went away, sure,
lots of sales would shift to independents and other chains, but not
all of the sales. Some would be lost forever."
HISTORY: WAL-MART AND CRAFTS
Years ago when Sam Walton was running a Ben Franklin store and
only dreaming of starting an all-discount store, he said he loved
the sewing department because it attracted the kind of customers he
wanted. There wasn't a craft department then because, well, there
really wasn't a craft industry.
As Sam developed his dream and the handful of craft pioneers
coalesced into a small industry, Sam added crafts to the sewing
department, in part because his wife, Helen, loved crafts. Lo and
behold, crafts attracted Sam's kind of customer, too.
Eventually Wal-Mart opened three all-craft stores, Helen's
Creative Crafts, and later sold them to Michaels. When
asked why, retired VP Don Soderquist told CLN the company
opened the stores to learn more about how to display and sell
crafts. Once officials felt they'd learned all there was to learn,
and realized the company's return on investment was higher opening
Wal-Marts and Supercenters than craft stores, they sold the stores.
The Helen's stores were profitable, Soderquist said, but
other types of stores were more profitable.
Since Sam's death, rumors of Wal-Mart dropping the fabric/sewing
department were like the tide: periodically spreading through the
industry causing joy or terror, then receding. Once when the rumor
was strong, CLN asked a former Wal-Mart craft buyer if she
thought it was true. "No," she answered, "crafts does
too well in destination studies, where the company asks customers
when they walk in the door why they were there."
And over the years Wal-Mart would expand, contract, and change
the department as trends evolved, selling millions of dollars of
macrame, cross stitch, wearable art, memory, and other products.
Wal-Mart officials have never revealed the sales data for the
department, but various estimates have been well over $2 billion,
making Wal-Mart at least the second largest retailer in our
industry.
ATTENTION CHA EXHIBITORS!
There will be one more issue of CLN before before the CHA
winter show. If you're unveiling new product lines AND you have
them on your website CLN will report it so buyers can
check your site as they compile their "booths to visit"
list. CLN will publish your company name, brief description,
booth number, and link to the page containing the new product lines.
Email the info to mike@clnonline.com.
Please, ONLY if your website contains the new product info.
ISSUES FACING THE INDUSTRY IN
2006
Last year was not a good one for most industry businesses. How do
we make 2006 an improvement? Ten issues, in alphabetical order, to
consider:
1. Beads. It's a huge category, but much of it is taking
place outside our traditional stores, trade magazines, and trade
shows. How do we capitalize on this trend and bring more of it into
our businesses?
2. Chains Stores. Whoever is hired as CEO of A.C. Moore
and Jo-Ann's will have a major impact on the industry. If
they are incompetent or ineffective .... Or, can they do for their
companies what Michael Rouleau has done for Michaels?
3. Decorative Painting/Cross Stitch. The categories need
new designs that attract a younger audience, and projects that allow
younger consumers to somehow "do their own thing" rather
than merely duplicate the original. Projects of cute snowmen or
bowls of fruit may appeal to existing painters and stitchers, but
those customers are getting older. Meanwhile, retailers need to
lighten up on pricing so the vendors have some margin to promote the
category the way they did when the categories were flourishing.
4. Home Dec. Convince the consumer that our stores have AT
LEAST as many inexpensive, creative home dec ideas as Home Depot or
Lowe's. We are not capitalizing on the plethora of DIY home dec
television shows.
5. Merchandising. Make our stores more interesting. Too
many stores are boring and do not help light a creative fire in the
customers.
6. Michaels. Is at an interesting point in its growth: a)
The U.S. is pretty well filled with Michaels' stores; b) the
company apparently hasn't figured out the right formula for its ReCollections
stores or it would have opened more than 11 by now; c) the Star
Wholesale concept sounds like a good one, but the country can't
support that many of them; d) Aaron Brothers continues a very
slow growth trend; e) Michaels has lots of cash. So, where
does it go for growth? Simply concentrate on improving sales per
store?
7. Retailers. Need to reduce pricing pressure and special
allowances on vendors so they have money for new product
development, promotions, and most importantly, inspiration and
education so consumers get even more out of crafting; And stop the
price cutting that reduces everything to a commodity item of little
perceived value. Also, be more receptive to new products and re-set
departments more often. We are making it too hard to be a vendor in
this industry; consequently, we're driving some of our most creative
vendors into other industries.
8. Scrapbooking. Simplicity the magazines seem to be
trending that way, and that's far more likely to attract newcomers
... Stop the constant emphasis on new products every three months
...Independents need to control their inventory and open-to-buy, and
concentrate more on attracting newcomers than on buying everything
the TwoPeas ladies want them to buy.
There is mounting evidence
that some consumers are now creating scrapbooks entirely on their
computers and no longer need to buy supplies from our stores.
Clearly, a major challenge is to provide products and services that
digital scrapbookers will want to buy in our stores. Every
retailer attending the CHA show should attend the digital imaging
seminars to at least get a better understanding of the phenomenon.
Click on Memory, Paper & Stamps in the left-hand column for the
complete schedule.
9. Young Consumers. We need to understand them: they are
more urban, hip ... Interested in doing their own thing, rather than
simply following directions and copying a project ... Want to
personalize everything to the point of having a tattoo ... Far more
comfortable with computers than theirr mothers ... They are
post-feminists not hesitant to take up "feminine"
hobbies, but want to do them their own way. And in this
post-feminist world, it's not just women who are potential
customers.
10. Yarn. Thousands of young people tried knitting a scarf
last year and liked it. Now the challenge is to entice them into
larger projects. If, instead, these younger consumers adopt the
"Been there, done that" attitude, yarn sales will decline.
MORE TRENDS/CHALLENGES
1. We're seeing more independents retiring and, rather
than selling their stores, just closing their doors.
2. Retailers are pressuring vendors to produce quick,
in-and-out, low-margin, one-shot items rather than new lines and/or
line extensions.
3. Some retailers are closing down poor-selling categories
to the point where they're becoming specialty shops. For better or
worse, the industry seems to be slowly abandoning the concept of a
"craft" umbrella that encompasses a wide variety of
categories.
4. The Hispanic population, now the second largest racial
group in the U.S. continues to grow. What is our industry doing to
attract Latinos?
5. Chinese exports are expected to grow another 9% in 2006
according to the Hong Kong Trade Development Council.
(Note: Read industry reactions to the articles above at Business-Wise
and "Benny
Da Buyer." To add your thoughts to the discussion, email
them to mike@clnonline.com.)
CHA SHOW MISCELLANEOUS
CHA officials report the advance registration is tracking ahead
of the Atlanta show, and with 1,100+ booths, it will be the largest
show in the HIA/CHA history. Online pre-registration lasts until
Jan. 20. Visit www.chashow.org.
1. The half-price tickets are going fast for the CHA
Theater Night Spectacular, "Le Reve." It includes a
cocktail reception at the Hilton and transportation to/from the Wynn
Hotel. For tickets, visit www.chashow.org/show_events.html.
2. It's a tradition that scrapbook designers,
manufacturers, and the press have a dinner during trade shows. For
CHA it will be Tues., Jan. 31, at 7:30 pm at The Buffet in the
Hilton Hotel. Admission/dinner is about $21. More than 100 have
already RSVP'd. Sponsorship opportunities are available for the 200
goody bags, individual door prizes, and a financial sponsorship of
$300 to help organizers put on the event. For more info, email chawinterbash@yahoo.com,
or visit www.chawinterbash.blogspot.com.
NEW PRODUCT PREVIEW
Chroma (HIA). #4630. Interactive Professional Artists'
Acrylic. Introducing a revolutionary breakthrough in acrylic
technology, Interactive the only professional artists'
acrylic that permits extended blending and reworking. www.chromaonline.com/interactive.
iKnitiative (TNNA). #104. Knitting patterns for all skill
levels. The collection features 12 new designs, a mix of
fashion-forward and timeless designs, with a focus on fun
accessories. www.iknitiative.com/patterns.htm.
Knitwhits (TNNA) #1848. Knitting patterns and kits,
including new purses, scarves, bikinis, flower pin kits, cat toy
kits, etc., in a variety of colors for all skill levels. www.knitwhits.com.
Magnetic Poetry (CHA) #1948. The Words & Crafts line
includes Chipboard Words, a Breezy Letter Stamp Kit,
and a Kids Word Stamp Kit. www.wordsandcrafts.com
Uchida (HIA). #1415. DecoColor Duo connectable
markers, Heritage ink pad, St. Tropez III plus illuminating
pen, Squishy Scissors, Ori Hoki storage boxes, Wafu
Gami specialty papers, Opaque Stix markers, and blank,
silk-framed greeting cards. And watch for make-it/take-its with Dee
Gruenig, Sue Sherman, and Sara Mayes. www.uchida.com/new/new.htm
Reminder: This is one more pre-show issue of CLN,
online Jan. 16. Any exhibitors who have their new products on their
websites are welcome to send CLN the company name, booth
number, brief description, and URL and it will be published in the
1/16 issue. Email the info to mike@clnonline.com.
RANDOM NOTES, RANDOM THOUGHTS
1. When I wrote the previous issue's summary of 2005, I
was shocked by the number of changes that had occurred in one year.
Judging from the number of responses I received to the issue, you
were shocked, too.
My initial conclusion is that change is happening faster and
faster each year but maybe not. My mother was born in North
Dakota in 1905 and as a little girl met Native Americans who fought
against General Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn. Then she
lived through World War I, the radio, the Depression, World War II,
Korea, Viet Nam, computers, the Internet, and saw on television a
man walk on the moon.
2. After watching the Christmas selling season, it seems
to me the overall retail industry has dug themselves into a huge
hole. Consumers are now so spoiled by discounts, massive discounts,
I don't see how retailers can get themselves out of it. Everyone
will have to jack up their prices so they can advertise "50%
OFF!" and then the concept of a "sale" will be
meaningless. The only other option is maintain the price and cheapen
the product. Following that strategy ultimately results in cheap
junk nobody wants.
3. Yes, Wal-Mart is constantly testing new ideas
that may or may not result in chain-wide changes. But here is one
change that is a fact: Wal-Mart's reaction to the press. For more
than a quarter of a century I have written about Wal-Mart and asked
company officials for comments, verification, etc. Every time, some
nice voice in the public relations department would say, "Gee
Mike, I'd really like to help you, but I just can't comment at this
time."
I assumed that would be the case this time, too, but the company
clearly has changed its approach. Execs finally understand, after a
wealth of bad pr in the national media, that it's in their self
interest to tell their side of the story. They finally learned their
lesson a good lesson for every company to learn.
MISCELLANEOUS NEWS
PEOPLE. DMC appointed Joseph McCabe President/CEO. He has
been with DMC since 1999, serving as President/CEO of its U.S.
Sportswear Division, and most recently as U.S. Country Manager over
all creative leisure business. Prior to DMC, McCabe served as VP of
Amity Leather Products and held various positions at Johnson &
Johnson. "I am pleased to have this opportunity to expand DMCs
business in the U.S. through new product introductions, enhancements
to the successful merchandising programs we currently have in place,
and further development of the partnerships we have created with our
retail customers," McCabe said.
QUOTATION. "We spend January 1 walking through our
lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to
be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk
through the rooms of our lives, not looking for flaws, but for
potential." Syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman (Boston
Globe)
YARN. Spinrite Income Fund reported that its sales for the
fourth quarter ending Dec. 31, 2005, are expected to range between
$24 million to $25.5 million (Canadian dollars). Spinrite Income
Fund holds an 80% interest in Spinrite Limited Partnership which
produces the Spinrite yarn. "Compounded by a late start
to the holiday season, Spinrite's sales in the fourth quarter have
been impacted more than expected by aggressive inventory positions
taken by retailers earlier in the year and a decline in category
growth," said CEO/President Dario Margve. "We expect these
factors to negatively impact sales through the first half of 2006.
Coincidentally, we have experienced a build up of factory inventory
due to lower than expected customer orders and the company is
committed to effectively managing the issue."
QUOTATION. "An early star of the holiday season for Wal-Mart
is the electronics department, where the retailer upgraded its
offerings to attract higher-income shoppers. The success of the
strategy bodes well for further implementation of the retailers
plans to drive more sales from upscale shoppers who currently shop
the store, but only for cherry-picked specials and commodities like
paper goods." Smart Supplier Newsletter
NEW STORES. There's a new yarn shop in the heart of
Manhattan: Knitty City, 208 W. 79th St. and will feature
classes, a full line of knit and crochet yarns, and guest
appearances by knitting celebrities such as Lily Chin. The website
will be www.knittycity.com
... Karen's Crafts is a 16,000-sq.-ft. store (40,000+ SKUs)
in the Rochester, NY area. Co-owner is Dave Godfrey, former manager
of a Leewards store.
RECOMMENDED READING. "The best business book written
for women is by Gail Evans, published in 2000 by Broadway Books: Play
Like a Man Win Like a Woman. Now available in
paperback." Shea Szachara, Options-Plus/Shea
Designs
STOCK. Olstein & Associates, which owns 9.1% of Jo-Ann's
common stock, filed notice with the Securities and Exchange
Commission that it believes the stock is undervalued, Reuters
reported. "Steps can and should be taken by the issuer to
increase the market valuation of the common stock. Olstein intends
to continue its dialogue with, and to take an active interest in,
the issuer regarding, among other things, the issuer's strategic
direction and corporate governance and management."
CANDLES. "But the $2 billion candle industry, which
enjoyed its heyday in the 1990s, has been slowing in recent years.
Annual sales growth, once 10-15%, has slowed to 2-3%, according to
the National Candle Association." Trenton (NJ) Times
KNIT/CROCHET. Vickie Howell, host of Knitty Gritty on
the DIY network, will make an appearance at the Knit &
Crochet Show in Oakland, CA Apr. 20-23. The education program
and other activities are part of the national conference for The
Knitting Guild Assn. (www.tkga.com)
and the annual spring conference for the Crochet Guild of America,
CGOA (www.crochet.org).
For info, visit www.knitandcrochetshow.com;
email knitandcrochetshow@offinger.com.
TV. A new series produced by KS, Inc. Productions, Bake
Decorate Celebrate!, will be downloaded Feb. 19. Nancy Siler and
Melanie Glasscock are the hosts, and it's sponsored by Kraftmaid,
Kitchenaid, and Coldwater Creek. (Comment: CLN has never
understood why there hasn't more overlap between the creativity in
"crafts" and creativity in the kitchen.)
QUOTATION. "I bet a lot of the declining same-store
sales figures at Jo-Ann's and A.C. Moore, and others
is due to Target taking sales." Industry consultant
BOOKS. Noted needlework designer Lois Winston has written
a novel, Talk Gertie To Me which will be published in April,
but Amazon is taking advance orders. Learn more at www.loiswinston.com.
(Comment: If Lois writes like she designs, Gertie should be a
best seller.)
DECORATIONS. Martha Stewart taught Katie Couric how to
make Christmas decorations out of Styrofoam on Dec. 21
edition of The Today Show.
ACQUISITION. Berkshire Partners and Weston Presidio
completed acquisition of Party City Corp. The company will be
de-listed from NASDAQ. Party City operates 248 company-owned stores
and 254 franchise locations .
TV. The 8th series of Scrapbook Memories, hosted by
Julie McGuffee and Beth Madland, uplinks to PBS stations Jan. 15.
Sponsors include Fiskars, Epson, Provo, Generations/Cardinal, Royal
& Langnickel Brush, Paper Pizazz, Morex, Craft-T Products, Kandi
Corp., Dreamweaver Stencils, Steward Superior, JustRite Stampers,
Grafix, Memories in Uniform, Scrapinsanity.com, Scrap N Cube, and
Coldwater Creek. Visit www.scrapbookmemoriestv.com.
REMINDER. Starting Jan. 8, the price of a first-class
stamp rises from 37 to 39 cents.
THE CREATIVE NETWORK: JOB
OPENINGS
To see the current listings from the only personnel recruitment
firm specializing in our industry, click on Jobs in the left-hand
column or click HERE.
THE CLN RETAIL INDEX
A. C. Moore (ACMR). Last*: 14.55 ... Change**: -0.08
Hancock Fabrics (HKF). Last*: 4.09 ... Change**: -0.07
Jo-Ann Stores (JAS). Last*: 11.80 ... Change**: -0.17
Michaels (MIK). Last*: 35.31 ... Change**: -1.56
Wal-Mart (WMT). Last*: 46.82 ... Change**: -2.45
CLN Retail Index. Last*: 162.46 ... Change**: -3.6%
Dow Jones Index. Last*: 10,717.50 ... Change**: -1.5%
*Dec. 30 ** from Dec. 16 Prices are exclusive of dividends
AIRLINE SAFETY
Soon most of us will be flying to trade shows, and occasionally
airline employees inject humor into their boring announcements. Here
are some, reportedly true, emailed to CLN:
1. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure
to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything,
please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
2. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald
Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big
fella. WHOA!"
3. "To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab
into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat
belt; if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't
be out in public unsupervised."
4. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask,
and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with
you, secure your mask before assisting with his. If you are
traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
5. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation;
and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to
shore and take them with our compliments."
6. "As you exit the plane, gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among
the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or
spouses."
7. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than
perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain
Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
8. After a very hard landing, the pilot was at the door
saying good-bye to the passengers. The last one off was a little old
lady. She asked, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
9. After a real crusher of a landing, the attendant
announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats
until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a
screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has
cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and
you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
10. "Thank you for flying with us today. And, the
next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies
in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US
Airways."
REMINDERS
1. If you want a hard-copy of this issue, click on
"Printer Friendly version."
2. If your company is a paid subscriber, everyone in the main
office is welcome to register, free. Just click on "Work for a
paid subscriber? Click Here to register."
3. If you ever have trouble with your password, click on
"Trouble with your password" in the right-hand column of
the main page. The computer will then email the correct information
to you.
4. Creative Leisure News is published the first and third Mondays of each
month. Your next issue will be Monday, January 16. HAPPY New
Year!
xxx