COMMENTARY: THE LESSON
OF CHRISTMAS
If there's a lesson to be learned from consumers' shopping
behavior this past Christmas, it's this: they are becoming ruthless
about price.
A. They jammed the stores at daybreak the morning after
Thanksgiving, scooping up the early-bird specials, then left the
stores when the specials were over. B. They abandoned Wal-Mart
for lower prices elsewhere, then flocked back when Wal-Mart cut
prices further. C. They streamed back into the stores for the
post-Christmas clearance sales.
Clearly, price is king these days, no doubt in part because of
inflation in key areas: gasoline, heating oil, health care,
education and even coffee.
(NOTE. In the next issue of CLN, we'll list
industry "stars" who will be demo-ing in CHA-show booths.
Vendors: if you'll be hosting such a person, email mike@clnonline.com
with the person's time, times she/he will be in the booth, and the
booth number.)
NEW COLUMNS THIS ISSUE
"Benny Da Buyer". Hot Trends & Trade Shows.
Trends change, but the keys to buyers having a successful show do
not.
"Vinny Da Vendor". Pricing pressures by retailers
are ruining good categories.
Note. If you surf to a column and it's an "old"
column, click on the "Refresh" or "Reload"
button on your browser.
TAKE THE CLN POLL: 2005
TRADE SHOW PLANS
Retailers and vendors: Are you planning to attend or exhibit at
more or fewer shows this year? To vote, click on Industry Polls in
the right-hand column, or click HERE.
CLN
POLL: MICHAELS TOP
THREAT AND CUSTOMER
Retailers: Whom do you consider your greatest competition?
Michaels, 31.03% ... Wal-Mart, 20.69% ... Hobby Lobby, 13.79% ...
Non-industry stores (e.g., Target, Linens 'N Things) 10.34% ... A.C.
Moore, 6.9% ... Home Shopping TV Networks, 6.9% ... E-commerce, 6.9%
... Jo-Ann's, 3.45% ... Rag Shops, 0% ... Independents, 0%.
Vendors: Whom do you consider your most important customer?
Michaels, 33.33% ... Wal-Mart, 24.24% ... Independents, 18.18% ...
Hobby Lobby, 12.12% ... A.C. Moore, 3.03% ... Jo-Ann's, 3.03% ...
Non-industry Stores, 3.03% ... Home Shopping TV Networks, 3.03% ...
Rag Shops, 0% ... E-commerce Sites, 0%.
PREDICTIONS FOR 2005
(Note: Based on conversations with a variety of industry
vendors, retailers, and reps.)
1. It will become increasingly difficult to report accurately
on overall scrapbook sales because of the ever-growing variety of
retailers selling memory supplies. So take what you hear with a
grain of salt.
2. The number of memory vendors will decline as consolidation
increases. Major causes: cash flow problems, lack of capital to grow
the company, profits too small for the work, and fatigue. All will
sell to larger, better capitalized vendors.
3. The overall number of independent scrapbook retailers will
decline somewhat. Price competition will get tougher.
4. Yarn sales will continue to increase, but not at the
astronomical levels of recent years. The greatest growth will be in
crochet.
5. At least one category (painting, dollmaking, florals,
etc.) will make a surprising rebound.
6. Now that so many consumers are comfortable working with
needles, some will try other forms of needlework.
7. Michaels will open more ReCollections
stores, but not Village Crafts stores. Jo-Ann's will
continue to close its traditional stores and replace them with
larger superstores. Hobby Lobby and A.C. Moore will
continue to expand. The Wal-Mart juggernaut will roll on.
8. The sewing marketplace will not support two spring and two
fall trade shows. The marketplace will determine the winners.
9. More companies of all types will make radical changes in
their business, looking to fill a niche and survive. Some may
endanger their core strengths as they hop on the latest hot
bandwagon.
10. The word "crafts" continues to go out of
fashion. Sign of the times: the Society of Craft Designers changing
its name to the Society of Creative Designers.
GERSTEL JOINS A.C. MOORE
Jeff Gerstel was named Exec VP of Store Operations for A.C.
Moore. He will report directly to President Larry Fine. Gerstel
had been President/COO of Rag Shops. Prior to that he served
as COO of Parts Plus Group, a distributor/retailer of automotive
replacement parts, and Factory 2-U as Exec VP of Store Operations
and Finance. Jeff also served on the board of directors of ACCI.
Reporting to Jeff will be all field VP's and Mike Doto, VP of Store
Operations.
COLORBOK ACQUIRES QUINCRAFTS
Colorbok, a creator and distributor of scrapbooking,
stationery, toys, and gift products, acquired Quincrafts, a
pioneer and market leader in crafts for kids. Quincrafts' Makit&Bakit
is one of the oldest and best known brand names in the industry,
and the Makeit&Bakit Suncatcher kits were recently
ranked among the top 10 arts and crafts products for kids by a trade
publication.
Terms were not disclosed. This transaction follows the equity
investment last May in Colorbok by the private investment firm, FdG
Associates.
Headquartered in Braintree, MA, Quincrafts manufactures 200+ kids
craft-activity products which are sold worldwide under brand names
such as Makit&Bakit, Bettys Beginner Stitchery,
and Sand Creations. Colorbok plans to combine the Quincrafts
business with its existing Kids Crafts and Activities division.
Doug Dossey, of FdG Associates said, "We look forward
to continuing to ... take advantage of the healthy organic growth
environment and to continue to identify acquisition opportunities
among niche-market leading businesses."
Quincrafts has played an important role in the history of the
craft industry. The company was started about 30 years ago by
Charlotte Vollin, Estelle Sugarman, and Sylvia Schwartz. They
started their company because they couldn't find craft activity
projects for their daughters. Quincrafts was one of the first
"craft" companies to exhibit at shows sponsored by the
then all-hobby Hobby Industry of America. Eventually Charlotte became not only the first "craft" person on the HIA
board, but also the first woman.
Later the ladies sold Quincrafts to the conglomerate, General
Mills. As has happened before in the industry, the manufacturing
giant screwed up the company, and Charlotte, Estelle, and their
daughters, Nancy and Debbe, bought it back for a fraction of what
they'd paid for it and then Nancy and Debbe built the company
back up again.
For the last 19 years the second generation, Nancy and Debbe,
have been operating the business and will continue to work with the
new ownership.
(Comment: We suspect that, unlike General Mills, Colorbok
is very knowledgeable about the craft industry, and so history won't
repeat itself.)
GARDEN RIDGE FIGHTS WITH
CREDITORS
Still in bankruptcy, Garden Ridge is fighting in court
with Allied Capital, which holds a second lien on substantially all
of the retailers' assets. Allied has objected to Garden Ridge's
proposal to extend its Debtor-In-Possession credit facility from $70
million to $80 million.
Allied claims Garden Ridge has made no amends to protect Allied's
interests. Allied also claims Garden Ridge is making little progress
formulating an effective reorganization plan. The court has
scheduled a hearing on the complaints for tomorrow.
MICHAELS WOWS 'EM IN DECEMBER
Michaels was the clear winner in December, out-performing
industry-related chains and almost every other type of retail
operation. Same-store sales rose 14% and overall sales rose 19% to
$557.9 million. Execs now expect same-store sales to rise 3%-5% in
January and have raised their fourth-quarter expectations to
$0.75-$0.77/share based on same-store increases of 5%-6%.
CEO Michael Rouleau attributed the strong showing to more
effective ad circulars, better weather, improved use of featured
store space, an expanded holiday gift-giving program, and the
automated replenishment system.
For the month, customer traffic was up 11% and average ticket
increased 3%. The Northeast, Pacific, and Southeast zones performed
the best. The strongest categories were Christmas, Scrapbooking, and
Kids Crafts, followed by Needlework and Yarn.
Jo-Ann's. Same-store sales rose a strong 4.2% while overall
sales rose 6.2% to $261.5 million. Year-to-date, sales are up 4.3%
to $1.68 billion and same-store sales are up 2.9%.
Wal-Mart. A very topsy turvy month. After the disappointing
Thanksgiving weekend, execs predicted same-store sales would be at
the low end of their original +1%-+3% prediction. The company
lowered prices further, and then had a better than expected
post-Christmas period. End result? Same-store sales rose 3.0%.
Hancock. Overall sales slipped 1.6% to $49.9 million and
same-store sales fell1.7% a slight improvement over recent
months. Year-to-date, total sales are $395.9 million, down 3.6% and
same-store sales are down 3.9%.
Toys R Us. Same-store sales fell 1.4% and Wall Street
thought that was good. Sean McGowan, an analyst with Harris Nesbitt,
told Playthings.com, "I think the results are encouraging in
the scope of the entire toy industry."
Others. Nordstrom, +9.3% ... Costco, +9.0% ... Target, +5.1% ...
Walgreen, +4.2% ... Family Dollar, +4.0% ... Best Buy, +2.5% ...
Federated, +2.3% ... Dollar General, +1.7% ... Duckwall-Alco, +1.0%
(but listed crafts as a strong performer) ... Big Lots, +0.1% ...
Rite Aid, -2.7% ... ShopKo, -5.3% ... Circuit City, -5.8% ...
Bombay, -6.0% ... Pier 1, -8.8%.
A.C. MOORE: SALES UP, FORECAST
DOWN
Sales for the fourth quarter ended Dec. 31 rose 18.4% to $177.3
million and same-store sales rose 5.6%. For the year, sales rose
14.7% to $497.6 million and same-store sales grew by 4%. CEO Jack
Parker said December was the strongest month of the quarter with
increased customer traffic, average sale, improved margins, and
"excellent" sell-through of seasonal goods.
But the company is lowering its full-year earnings expectation to
$0.86 - $0.88/share from $0.94 - $0.97, due to an accounting change,
significant expenditures in the new distribution center required in
the aftermath of the roof collapse in the old distribution center,
and additional costs for Sarbanes-Oxley compliance, insurance, and
store openings.
For 2005 the company is forecasting 15 new store openings and the
relocation of an existing store, overall sales to increase 18% - 19%,
same-store sales to grow in the mid-single digits, and net income to
grow 30% - 35%. The current store count is up to 96.
U.S. TO GET TOUGHER ON
IMPORTS?
Outgoing U.S. Commerce Secretary Donald Evan said in a speech to
the American Chamber of Commerce in Beijing, "When China's
leaders fail to produce results on the points of friction in our
trading relationship, their failure only empowers those critics
within the U.S. political system," Bloomberg News reported.
NOW he says it, after turning in his resignation from his
cabinet post?
The "points of friction" including piracy of
intellectual property rights, government loans/subsidies to
exporters, keeping the Chinese yuan pegged to the dollar and thus
not allowing it to "float" as European currencies do, and
allowing U.S. direct-sale companies such as Avon and Amway to resume
business in China.
CLN thinks the U.S. will talk tougher, but will not push
very hard as long as the U.S. wants the Chinese to help disarm North
Korea.
CONSUMER SCRAPBOOK SHOWS =
CONFUSION
The proliferation of consumer scrapbook shows is creating some
interesting situations. The Scrapbook Expo sponsors have sent
a letter to vendors saying if they exhibit at certain competing
shows in 2005, that will hurt their chances of obtaining a booth at
the 2006 Scrapbook Expo shows in those areas. In other words, if a
vendor exhibits at the 2005 Memories Expo show in Pasadena,
it hurts his/her chances of getting a booth at the 2006 Scrapbook
Expo show in Orange County. The same is true for the Memories
Expo in St. Charles, IL and the Scrapbook Expo in
Chicago, the Great American show in San Antonio and the Expo
in Austin, and the Memories Expo in Orlando and the Scrapbook
Expo, also in Orlando.
While on the surface this smacks of restraint of trade, there's a
certain logic to it. Scrapbook Expo president Jennifer Davis points
out that a) her shows already have long waiting lists she
limits the number of booths so the crowd won't be spread too thin; b)
in Texas this year there will be four shows in four months
within a 200 mile radius; c) if consumers see the same
vendors they saw at the earlier show, they'll stop coming.
Davis has already been imposing this policy on her own shows for
two years. If a vendor other than those in the consolidated shipping
group exhibits at the Scrapbook Expo in San Francisco, that limits
the chances of obtaining a booth at the Scrapbook Expo in
Sacramento.
Denise Brosie, Event Manager for the Memories Expo shows,
believes in letting the chips fall where they may. "Memories
Expo welcomes all exhibitors to our events, regardless of
other industry shows in which they may participate. We believe
competition and choice is healthy for our industry."
Davis' philosophy is similar to deer hunters. Without hunting,
the deer population would explode, there wouldn't be enough
vegetation for all of the deer, and eventually they'd all die of
starvation. Too many shows (with the same vendors) could ultimately
result in no shows at all.
Who's right? Vendors and ultimately consumers will
decide.
(Note: Feel free to email your thoughts -- on or off the record
-- on consumer shows to mike@clnonline.com.)
CHA NEW PRODUCT PREVIEW
(Note: The following are CHA exhibitors whose new
products can be seen on their websites. EXHIBITORS: If your new
products are on your website, email mike@clnonline.com
and CLN will report it and link to your website in
the next issue, the last pre-CHA-show issue.
Artgirlz. (New exhibitor). A wide variety of very graphically
interesting papers, collage kits, peweter charms, borders, words,
and images. Visit www.artgirlz.com.
C&T Publishing. Has launched Create & Treasure,
a new book and paper crafts line for paper crafters, including Altered
Board Book Basics & Beyond, a how-to book by Jan Bode
Smiley; The Paper Crafter's Color Companion (pocket-size
cards by Joen Wolfrom); and Ready-to-Go! Blank Board Books.
Visit www.ctpub.com/client/client_pages/press_releases/2004_1231.cfm.
Delta. Has introduced the FabriCraft Peel n Stick
Memory Program, which enables scrapppers to add acid free fabric
to their pages. Visit www.homespirations.com/DELTA/FabriCraft/FC-memory-program/FC-page1.html.
EmbellishMATS. (New exhibitor). Polythylene "Pounding
Board" for eyelets. Visit www.embellishmats.com.
Janlynn. New products too numerous to mention. Visit www.janlynn.com
for new needdlework collections. The company has also introduced new
lines in its recent acquisitions: Sanook Paper (www.sanookpaper.com)
and Stamps Happen (www.stampshappen.com).
Leather Etc. Has new additions to the line of RubOuts The
Eliminators battery-powered erasers that can be used without
damaging paper. Visit www.leatheretc.biz/html/erasers.html.
Mountain Mist. The new Heritage Collection includes A
Touch of Silk and A Touch of Cashmere in various sizes of
batting, fiberfill, and pillowforms and A Touch of Wool and
Completely Cotton which are available in 4 batting sizes
each. Visit www.mountainmistlp.com/new-products.htm.
CRAFTS, KIDS, AND THE TSUNAMI
(A note from industry veteran Herb Rancourt)
Yesterday afternoon, two eight-to-nine year-old girls rang the
door bell. As I opened the door, one of them began reading a
prepared text soliciting donations for the Tsunami relief fund,
Doctors with Cause.
It turns out that they decided to spend the remaining time of
their holiday vacation making crafts to sell and donating the money
to the charity. The two of them pulled their savings together and
asked their moms to drive them to Michaels and Tall Mouse to buy
supplies.
They had made beaded bracelets (simple pony beads on elastic cord
they explained the meaning of the colors); red rose corsages;
and decorative, scented votive candles.
I questioned them ... and their enthusiasm for crafting really
came through. Their exposure and experience with crafts did not come
from school, church, or outside groups like the girl scouts. They
told me it came from their parents who wanted them involved with
creative processes, and I quote, "away from TV and video
games."
I'm sure there are hundreds of stories like this over the past
week of kids getting involved and doing good things in support of
the Tsunami relief. What impressed me was their enthusiasm for the
crafts and the intent and outlet their parents provide them. Herb
Rancourt
THE WACKY WORLD OF RETAIL
Paula Alvarez and Dale Thompson are the latest Wal-Mart employees
to get married in their Wal-Mart store in Junction City, KS,
the Associated Press reported. Co-workers made register three the
altar and the loving couple exchanged vows in the checkout lane
where they had met and where Thompson later proposed. The reception was
held in the store's break room, but there was no mention of where
the newlyweds spent their wedding night.
If the love birds spent their wedding night in a big box store,
hopefully it wasn't the Toys R Us or Circuit City in Charlotte,
where last week police captured a fugitive who had been living in
the stores for months, eating baby food and watching DVDs, the Charlotte
Observer reported.
And maybe it's just as well the newlyweds didn't run into Dean
Wooten. Wooten, 65, was fired as a Wal-Mart greeter in Muscatine, IA
for greeting customers with a computer-generated photo of himself,
the AP reported. In the photo Wooten appeared to be naked except
for a carefully placed Wal-Mart bag. Wooten told customers this new
uniform was part of Wal-Mart's new cost-cutting policy. Wooten's
unemployment compensation claim was rejected by a judge, who was
quoted by the AP as proclaiming, "A reasonable person would
know the act of showing a naked body wearing a Wal-Mart sack would
not be good for the employer's business."
Meanwhile, the Michaels in the Ford City shopping center
in Chicago will probably not report very good sales because a
gas leak blew up the parking lot.
WAL-MART AWARDS U.S. CRAFT
VENDOR
Wal-Mart awarded Toner Plastics its Craft Supplier for
the third quarter. The award is based on a number of factors
including growing sales faster than inventory.
"We are extremely fortunate to be a Wal-Mart supplier,"
said President Steve Graham, "and this recognition is a tribute
to all our hard-working employees. Our company is quite small
compared to many of the suppliers and that makes the award all that
much sweeter. Wal-Mart is taking some hits in the press lately but
they have always treated us ethically and fairly. They are
responsible for a lot more jobs at little companies around the
country than one can possibly imagine and we are one of those
companies."
Toner manufactures CraftLace (plastic lace to braid key
chains and lanyards); Fun Wire (plastic-coated wire for
jewelry and crafting); hemp products; and Christmas ornament kits.
(Comment: No doubt this is not the first time Wal-Mart has
recognized a U.S. vendor, with U.S. products, but it's nice to see.)
RANDOM NOTES, RANDOM THOUGHTS
In a London Times article, William Rees-Mogg describes an
economic theory called "marginalism," in which a small
amount of a product can affect the price of an entire category. For
example, if there's a need for 25 apples, and there are 26 apples,
that 26th apple lowers the price of the other 25. If there are only
24 apples, the missing apple raises the value of the 24.
In other words, "economic change is determined by what
happens at the margin of transaction," Rees-Mogg wrote.
Why am I writing about this? Because this issue contains
predictions for the new year and Rees-Mogg concludes, "What is
the prospect for the dollar? That depends on China. The euro? China.
The oil price? China. Industrial commodities? China.... In each
case, the forecast was not based on the absolute size of the Chinese
economy, which is still much smaller than that of the U.S. The
forecasters, looking at their different markets, were all convinced
that marginal changes attributable to China would be the decisive
factor. That and low Chinese costs."
MISCELLANEOUS NEWS
FLORALS/GIFTS. The Dallas Market Center (DMC) plans to launch
new gift and home temporary shows in January, March, June, and
September, 2006. All temporary resources will be leased and managed
by the DMC; the 2005 events will continue to be managed by George
Little Management. The 2006 temporary shows will be held on the 12th
and 13th floors of the World Trade Center .... CNL Income Properties
plans to acquire a majority interest in the DMC, including the World
Trade Center, Dallas Trade Mart, Int. Floral and Gift Center, and
Market Hall. The current management company, Market Center
Management Co., Ltd., will continue operating the facilities. For
more, visit www.dallasmarketcenter.com.
SCRAPBOOKING. Actress Lisa Summerour appeared in several
movies, including Philadelphia in which she played Denzel
Washington's wife. But four years ago she cut back her film career
to become a sales consultant for Creative Memories,
Reuters reported. "I can work from home and have more control
over my schedule," Summerour told Reuters. "It's
fun."
SCRAPBOOKING. Kroger yes, Kroger, the grocery chain
is now carrying major scrap supplies in at least some of its stores.
VENDORS. A.C. Moore will hold Open Buying Days in 2005: Mar.
1 ... Apr. 5 ... May 3 ... June 7 ... Sept. 6 ... Nov.1. Email dorothyh@acmoore.com
for an appointment.
PAINTING. There are a limited number of 10'x10' and 5'x10'
booths left for the Society of Decorative Painters Conference
May 26-28 in Tampa. Call Yvonne at 316-269-9300, ext. 109, or email
yvonne@decorativepainters.org.
MEDIA. Delta's FabriCraft Peel 'n' Stick Fabric is
featured in the January issue of Woman's Day which has an
overall distribution of 9+ million.
PEOPLE. Wal-Mart named Eduardo Castro-Wright, currently
President/CEO of Wal-Mart Mexico, to be Exec. VP/COO of U.S.
Wal-Mart Stores.
TOYS. Despite not faring too poorly this Christmas, Toys R
Us will probably still be sold, Business Week reported
... The Int. Toy Centers two showroom buildings may be sold, but
the Toy Industry Assn. told Playthings it is committed
to the city through 2006 for the American Int. Toy Fair.
DISTRIBUTION. Jo-Ann's will spend $45 million to build a
700,000-sq.-ft. distribution center in Opelika, AL to support growth
in key southern states, such as FL, GA, and TX. It's Jo-Ann's third
distribution center. Groundbreaking will occur in March and
shipments to stores are expected to begin in April, 2006. The center
will eventually create about 425 jobs.
SHOWS. MemoryTrends is offering 5'x8' exhibit spaces
for the Oct. 10-12 Las Vegas show. The $550 cost includes a 6'
white-draped table, side chairs, ID sign, wastebasket, and four
lunch vouchers. Call 516-596-3937, email info@memorytrends.com,
or visit www.memorytrends.com.
THE WAR. Army Pfc. Kenneth VonRonn, 20 and recently married,
was killed with six other U.S. soldiers when their patrol was hit by
a roadside bomb, the N.Y. State Times Herald-Record reported.
He'd been an A.C. Moore employee before joining the National
Guard.
INTERNET. ConsumerReports.org says consumers can "take
a ton of cool classes without putting a dent in your budget."
The article suggested A.C. Moore which "holds classes at
most of its outlets nearly every day of the week."
MEDIA. The Feb. issue of Inc. magazine has an
excellent profile of David Blumenthal of Lion Brand Yarn. The
article (with a foldout of David!) says Lion's revenue should hit
$200 million this year.
PAINTING. The winning projects of Delta's 2004 Delta Painting
Challenge have been chosen and free pattern packs of the projects
are available at www.deltacrafts.com.
SCRAPBOOKING. Crafters Home, now under the new leadership of
Shane Cullimore and with 180+ member stores, will relocate the
corporate office to Utah with a satellite office in Phoenix. Call
602-279-0809; email jesse@craftershome.biz
or shane@craftershome.biz,
or mail to P.O. Box 7548, Phoenix, AZ 85011.
LOOKING TO HIRE. Wichelt Imports, a leading needlework
distributor/manufacturer, is seeking a Marketing Manager. Four-year
degree in Marketing or related field, at least three years
experience and working knowledge of Publisher and Word a must.
Knowledge of the needlecraft industry a plus ... Also looking for a
full-time Graphic Designer. Associates degree in Graphic Design or
related field and two years experience required. Should be able to
show portfolio/sample of work at interview. Familiarity with the
needlecraft industry a plus. Send resume with references to Wichelt
Imports, Attn: Human Resources, N162 Hwy 35. Stoddard, WI 54658. awichelt@wichelt.com.
WAL-MART. Launched a nationwide PR campaign with full page
ads in 100+ newspapers to counter the recent negative publicity
concerning lawsuits, job outsourcing, etc. "There are a lot of
urban legends going around these days about Wal-Mart, but facts are
facts," said CEO Lee Scott. "Wal-Mart is good for
consumers, good for communities, and good for the U.S.
economy." The campaign includes a website, www.walmartfacts.com.
THE CREATIVE NETWORK: JOB
OPENINGS
To read about some of the job openings click on Jobs in the
left-hand column or click HERE.
THE CLN RETAIL INDEX
A. C. Moore (ACMR). Last*: 27.10 ... Change**: -2.08
Hancock Fabrics (HKF). Last*: 9.36 ... Change**: -0.50
Jo-Ann Stores (JAS). Last*: 27.97 ... Change**: -0.25
Michaels (MIK). Last*: 31.00 ... Change**: -3.74
Wal-Mart (WMT). Last*: 53.99 ... Change**: -3.14
CLN Retail Index. Last*: 149.42 ... Change**: FLAT
Dow Jones Index. Last*: 10,558.00 ... Change**: -2.1%
Note: Last Friday was the fifth anniversary of the Dow's highest
level -- 11,723. Five years later, it's still 9.9% below that high.
*January 14 ** from December 31 Prices are exclusive of dividends
NEW PRODUCT WARNING LABELS
Due to increasing product liability litigation, U.S. liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the heck happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
friends over and over that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you
can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without
spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you thinh you can
tipe reel goode
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